Vipasssana Meditation Course

Okay, so this has been in the making for a while and here was my big chance. I read S.N. Goenka's book, The Art of Living, and the concepts of the technique had been seeping their way in for a year but I had not yet known Vipassana experientially. Ten days of silence and 10 hours to practice sure did the job.

A bit about the course. It is called Vipassana, which means, to see things as they are. This is the technique discovered by Gautama Buddha 2500 years ago and is how he achieved enlightenment. After his discovery, he taught it for 40 years in northern India before his death at age 80. It has been passed down directly from teacher to student since then. I took at course at Dhamma Dhara in Shelbourne, Massachusetts, the oldest Vipassana Meditation Center in the U.S. During the first 9 days, the women and men taking the course (about 40 in each group) remain separate from one another and in noble silence to assist in silencing the mind. Chanting during meditation and a one hour video discourse is provided by S.N. Goenka, the teacher that reintroduced Vipassana to India after it had been lost for centuries. Goenkaji lives in Mumbai, India. In addition, assistant teachers are available for guidance and to answer any questions throughout the course. Below are the daily schedule and some of my experiences during during the course.

Daily schedule:
4:30-6:30 meditation in hall or room
6:30-7:30 breakfast
7:30-8:30 rest
8:30-9:30 group meditation in hall
9:30-11:00 meditation in hall or room
11:00-12:00 lunch
12:00-1:00 rest
1:00-2:30 meditation in hall or room
2:30-3:30 group meditation in hall
3:30-5:00 meditation in hall or room
5:00-6:00 tea and fruit
6:00-7:00 group meditation in hall
7:00-8:00 discourse by Goenkaji
8:00-9:00 group meditation in hall
10:00 lights out

Day 1-
Akk! I missed the 4AM wake up bell! I missed the morning meditation session but was in time for breakfast. Some student I am! I wish my roommates could wake me up.
It feels like prison here with our controlled meal and outing times to the walking loop. Ok, time for meditation-- I only need one pillow to sit on. Meditating for an hour or two at a time is hard but that's to be expected-- surely it will get easier. If I can just get some of these songs out of my head, I could enjoy the silence. Outside of meditation, I amuse myself in my mind and find humor in most any oddity.

Day 2-
I missed the bell again but fortunately hear my roommates get up. The food is good but it's odd to be finished eating for the day (other than fruit and tea) at 11:30A. Wow, my mind is a monkey! All over the place and so demanding of attention when I am working on focus. And ooph, here I go again- criticizing myself for the same things I always do. Thank goodness for the hour of instructional video in the evening when I can receive external input, sit against the wall, and laugh! And thank goodness we are around each other all day even if we are silent-- silence and isolation would be maddening.

Day 3-
How is it possible that I don't hear the bell? It's so loud. My bum is soar. My knees hurt after sitting for only a short while. My digestion is unsteady in the afternoons-- I've never experienced indigestion really-- why now with this healthy food and less eating? I'm so sick of doing the same thing over and over. It's nearly impossible to focus my mind. Ahhh, pillows to raise my knees is what I needed. No more knee pain! At least I can sit even if my mind is a crazy hairball of distraction.

Day 4-
Finally, I heard the bell! Ahhh, and further instruction. This is cool. I'm enjoying this rare opportunity. My mind stays focused for short periods of time.
I really wish I could talk to my roommate to ask for some floss. Outside of meditation, I observe the other course participants, make up names for them, and have little conversations with them or just greet them (in my mind).

Day 5-
Getting better. I feel very peaceful and relaxed. There's still a long way to go but I can feel waves of vibrations throughout my body as Goenkaji said there are all the time, we are just not aware of them. I'm amazed that every impure thought, deed, action, craving, and aversion is stored in my body-mind and is associated with a sensation waiting to be released by bringing my awareness to it. Even the smallest of things I haven't thought of since they happened. Some sensations are painful, some vibrational.

Day 6-
And better. This is bliss! I have growing awareness throughout my body. That's the first part. The second part is equanimity. This is much harder. It's difficult to maintain equanimity towards the pleasant and unpleasant sensations alike.

Day 7-
And better. My sensitivity to sensations around the body has really increased and my ability to focus has improved vastly. I am able to go right into meditation rather than having my mind wander. There is pain and pleasure throughout but both have the same characteristic- arising and passing, arising and passing.

Day 8-
Better still. This is a truly amazing experience unparalleled by any I have had previously. I want to share this experience with everyone I know!

Day 9-
Today we break silence so that we have a one day buffer of interaction with each other (males and females) before going into the outside world. Meditation first in the morning. After being welcomed to break silence, I leave the meditation hall and turn right back around to go back in. I have a visceral reaction to the mere possibility of verbal interaction. My temperature raises and I feel anxiety in a way that I have never felt. What is this? I sit and meditate more recalling almost every childhood memory I have and scanning through other memories that have come up during the course. After an hour, I am ready to go out. I go outside and walk to my room where one of my roommates is. I'm so happy and so excited to be talking and interacting finally. Wow! We go to lunch where everybody is excitedly talking yet with some amount of reserve. The sound of everyone's voice echoing off the dining room walls is really really intense-- almost unbearable. I am happy to be interacting but feel very sensitive and wish everyone could lower their voices. Soon, we are all laughing amongst ourselves and after 20 minutes or so, my ears are once again accustomed to the human voice. It's a treat to talk two wonderful women I have been sharing a room with and we laugh about the things we wished we could've said to each other over the last 9 days. We learned how two of us had talked in our sleep (so I can't say I kept absolute silence!). Then, an old friend I have not seen in 7 years comes up to me. A gift!
Today also we learn metta. Metta is loving kindness practice where we, after 9 days of introspection, focus our awareness externally to generate love, peace, and liberation among all beings. What joy!

Day 10-
I'm walking on air. I feel totally embodied in a space of peace, calm, and happiness. What a blessing to take this course and be taken such good care of- they feed us, house us, teach us, and guide us in such a peaceful and loving way. I hope that my family will come. I hope to have the strength and discipline to practice Vipassana everyday. Though I am at the beginning of the path to liberation, I know that taking the first step is often the hardest and that to have this tool within my being is the greatest gift I have ever experienced.

May all beings be happy, peaceful, and liberated!